Finding Perfect Heaven
by gabiabi
Summary: Mulder's back and he has some questions...


Title: Finding Perfect Heaven  
Author: Gabiabi  
Rating: G  
Classification: MSR slight angst  
Summary: Mulder's back and he has a question  
Spoilers: Deadalive, Three Words  
Disclaimer: Any characters you recognise are not mine  
  
Author's notes: Loved the episodes but wanted some spooning so I wrote some in.  
  
Feedback welcome

Mulder watched Scully as she slept, admiring her rounded belly and the healthy glow that seemed to radiate off her face. That glow had been missing when he'd first woken in his hospital bed, her face instead drawn and weary. He hadn't even known then what he had been through but her face told him a story - a long and tiring story albeit one with a happy ending. When he had woken again later that night, he was surprised to find Scully lying beside him, an extra cot having been brought in for her along side his. They had moved in the night to the middle of the two beds, him curled around her with their hands entwined. She had moved her hand in her sleep and he had felt the shape of her belly for the first time. Just as he was dismissing the notion that she was pregnant, he felt a jolt underneath his hand and knew the truth. She had slept on and he had explored her tummy, searching for more movement, more proof of the impossible. When the morning came he watched her wake, revelling in her sleepy yet graceful motions. She smiled at his questioning glance and nodded, moving their hands tenderly over her bump and then allowing them to rest on top of it once again.  
  
They hadn't spoken of the 'why' or the 'how' that day and, scared of the answer, Mulder hadn't even mentioned the 'who'. The moment to speak of such things passed and the questions were left unspoken and, for Mulder, unanswered. He had returned to his apartment with her this afternoon, still not knowing and, although he tried, could not bring himself to ask straight out whose baby it was. He had hedged around it and upset her, not realising before he spoke how the words would sound if the baby were his. As soon as the words were out he desperately wished he could take them back after seeing her face fall. Knowing that he couldn't, he turned away from her, scared that she might tell him the very thing he didn't want to hear. She hadn't, of course, and again he was left wondering, both hoping for and fearing the answer. She had turned to go then and he, in his idiocy, let her leave upset.  
  
Now, watching her, he wondered how he could have let her go, how he could have hurt her like that when she had been through so much. He wanted to go to her and make it right, apologise but still his fear held him back. As he watched her, she moved in her sleep and whimpered softly. She continued to whimper and move restlessly on the bed so he moved to beside the bed to soothe her. He laid his hand on her cheek and stroked it gently, reassuring her that she was safe. Her eyes blinked open and, still part-way in her nightmare, she reached for him to hold as she trembled and tried to forget. He cradled her in his arms as she clung to him, tears escaping from her tightly closed eyes.  
  
"You're here. You're really here."  
  
"Sssh. It's okay. It was just a bad dream. You were dreaming."  
  
"But it wasn't. It was real. For six months it was real. I..."  
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean..."  
  
"Mulder why did you let me go? Why did you come back?"  
  
"I...I let you go because I'm a coward - I was too scared of...I came back because I realised that this was where I wanted to be, right here with you. It's where I need to be."  
  
"I need you here too. Mulder, will you stay?"  
  
"Always and forever."  
  
The two spooned up in the bed like they had done in the hospital and, like before, their hands rested on her belly. They lay in silence, waiting for sleep to come to them. Mulder was engrossed in the feeling of the kicking baby beneath his hands and so didn't hear Scully when she spoke.  
  
"Mulder...Mulder?"  
  
"Hmmmm?"  
  
"When you said before...that you were scared. What did you mean?"  
  
"I..."  
  
"Please Mulder, tell me."  
  
"I had a question...I still do...but I don't know if I really want the answer. I don't think I'm ready to hear it yet."  
  
"What is it Mulder?"  
  
"It's...it's about the baby...about your baby."  
  
"Our baby, Mulder."  
  
"It is? Ours I mean. You and me - we did this?"  
  
"Yes, it was us...Mulder you didn't think I..."  
  
"I didn't know what to think Scully. I knew the in vitro had failed. I...I thought maybe you'd tried other donors or that there was someone else. I'm sorry - I just didn't know and I was scared to find out."  
  
"There could never be anyone else Mulder. Never. It's you and me all the way. Until this little one comes along - then it's gonna be mom, dad and baby. "  
  
"I'm going to be a dad. Oh my God I'm going to be a dad."  
  
"Yes. Yes you are."  
  
"And you're gonna be a mom. I...we're having a baby. Us."  
  
"Us."  
  
"It's Perfect."  
  
"It's Heaven."  
  
"It's perfect heaven. We've found it."  
  
"You and me."  
  
Scully had turned towards Mulder while they were talking so that she could look at his face and now she leaned in to capture his mouth with her own. They kissed for a long time before breaking away and, after turning away from again Scully closed her eyes and allowed herself to drift to sleep in his strong arms. Mulder lay awake a while longer and, when he was sure that she was totally asleep, he scooted down the bed. Leaning over her expanded stomach. He placed gentle kisses to her abdomen before crawling back up the bed and, after wrapping Scully back in his arms, closed his eyes and went to sleep, dreaming of his perfect heaven. 


End file.
